The Dandy Warhols - Dandys Rule OK (1995)

Imagine someone put vintage Velvet Underground in a blender with Ride, T.Rex, a sitar, a handful of self-loathing, and another handful of mescaline. Roughly what you're getting with this album. I love it.

"Introduction by Young Tom"

Hello, music lover. Thomas Pancake here, to tell you
that you are the proud new owner of the hottest
music on the market today. So get ready for a massive
concussion of rock and roll with The Dandy Warhols!

(Can everybody hear this?)

"The Dandy Warhols T.V. Theme Song"

(It's just a bunch of "hey laaaa, see-sawwwws", really.)

"Ride"

You're my ride
And I'm out my window
And it's alright
If you got candy-o

You're so cool
And not much older
But you know how to drive
Baby, you're my ride

I slip outside
And to the corner
Roll down your drive
Before you start it

Well, I'm no fool
Not like your father
Awake outside
Baby, you're my ride

My ride
My ride
My ride
Baby, you're my ride

"Best Friend"

Best friend
I'll see you in the end
We're broken for a while
But maybe we could mend

Best friend
I'm feeling a lot of love
And filling up my time again

I'll see you in the end
I will again

Best friend
I'm really up again
The world is alone, but
Bitter to the end

Best friend
I'm really high again
And figuring out my head

Yeah, I'll see you in the end
I will again

"Not Your Bottle"

That's not your bottle
Nor what's inside
I guess they brought it
Just for them

How did you get in?
That's fucking right
None of my friends would bother
To even bother

Benjamin's marijuana
Michael brought a keg
Well, the skaters are high on mushrooms
Passing out hits of LSD

Philip wants to be a rock star
But he's a bit uptight
So he brings his favorite Bettys
With a bottle full of whiskey
And he sits on the couch all night

"(Tony, This Song is Called) Lou Weed"

(Uh, Tony? This song is called "Lou Weed".)

Well, baby, just look at Lou
Well, you do what you wanna do
And nothing less for you
Well, whatever will get you through

Now Satan will seem like a typical dude
When you notice him staying and staring at you
And I can see you got the heroin blues
Really, it looks so good on you

Well, baby, just look at Lou
I know women and women want to be seen with
But that's okay too
Those women really look good on you

Now you always act so cool
Like you're waiting for your man on Lexington Avenue
And no one is there to hook up for you
So, whose place are you going to?

Well, baby, just look at Lou
Yeah, baby, just look at Lou
I said, baby, just look at Lou
Yeah, baby, look at Lou

"Nothin' to Do"

I like to hold on my baby
She likes to hold on me, too
Like something for nothing
That she can hold on to

Where we been lately?
Second Avenue
To call on Brent Mackerel
Or we can find someone new

I really like it better
Like it better than you
And if you got a problem
Well, we had nothing to do

Here we go, baby
Yeah, with the cats from Swoon
And if we got a quarter
We call Sugarboom

"The Coffee and Tea Wrecks"

The road, baby, is tight
And we roll, baby, you know tonight
There's a full pie in the sky
And it pulls, baby, you know to ride

It's fair because
I get higher than I think I was
We pull over when we're tired
We get wired

So witty and white
And we roll all of your gold tonight
You, so out of sight
But your girlfriend hippie trans loves to fly

It's fair because
I get higher than I think I was
We pull over when we're tired
We get wired

It's fair because
I get higher than I think I was
We pull over when we're tired
We get wired

"Genius"

I'll take the blame
If I ever want to
For what my little brain
Has been through

I know to say
Things I never meant to
To seem a little sane
'Cause that's what it takes

If I ever could win
If I ever could see
If I just could ever remember to think about anything

Darling
You give me a rope, I'll hang myself
It doesn't take a genius to figure it out
Don't have to be fucking brilliant to see
I'm not as smart as I seem to be
I'm not as bright as I used to be
I'm not as sharp as I think I am
I'm not as smart as I seem
I'm not as bright as I seem

Darling, darling, darling

Darling
You give me a rope, I'll hang myself
It doesn't take a genius to figure it out
Don't have to be fucking brilliant to see
I'm not as smart as I seem to be
I'm not as bright as I used to be
I'm not as sharp as I think I am
I'm not as smart as I seem
I'm not as bright as I seem

"Dick"

They said everything I could think
Think every think I could leak
Hear every word without listening
I'm a dick

I'm gonna know everything
Know everything that was true
Seen everything I could see
Been everything I could be

I'm a dick
Waiting to be kicked

Read everything I could read
Have everything I could need
Seen everything I could see
Been everything I could be

I'm a dick
Waiting to be kicked

"Just Try"

If you just try
Telling me why
Wise and old
Still, I know the sun

And built cities
Where the rivers run
Telling me why
If you just try

If you just try
Telling me why
If you just try

Alakazam put a sham down
She was a good head
Oh, now that she died
Though I swear, bye-bye
She would have tried

Alakazam put a sham down
She was a good head
Oh, now that she died
Though I swear, bye-bye

"Nothing (Lifestyle of a Tortured Artist for Sale)"

You want for nothing
That's what you decide
Always on, always gone

'Cause you all want nothing
That's you inside
Always gone, always on

And you only want nothing
For yourselves
Always want the other side
You could be trying

It's enough to always try
That's a life for you
Any cause that you wanna do
But that's all fine
Except for anything that you do to me

And you want for nothing
You want for nothing
'Cause you want for nothing
Nothing

"Grunge Betty"

(People keep you crawlin' in)

Hey

Hey, we gotta rise today
Can't seem to find what I want you for
I open my eyes and I wake on the floor
You open the door, I wake on the floor
Can't seem to find what I'm wanting for

'Cause lately, baby, I'm wasting
Tons of time
Tons of time
Tons of time

Hey

Hey, we gotta rise today
I can't seem to find what I want you for
You open the eyes and I wake on the floor
I open the door, and wake on the floor
I can't seem to find what I want you for

'Cause lately, baby, I'm wasting
Tons of time
Tons of time
Tons of time

"It's a Fast Driving Rave-Up With the Dandy Warhols Sixteen Minutes"

(And for their final number, "It's a Fast Driving
Rave-Up With the Dandy Warhols Sixteen Minutes"!)

I'm not tired
I'm not bad
I won't let you
Let you forget

You're my castle
You're my sand
Just to let you
Understand

I'm not tired
I'm not bad
I won't let you
Let you forget

You're my castle
You're my sand
Just to let you
Do you understand?

I'm not tired
I'm not bad
I'm not tired
I'm not bad

"Finale: It's a Fast Driving Rave-Up With the Dandy Warhols Sixteen Minutes"

They said everything I could think
Think every think I could leak
Hear every word without listening
I'm a dick